HOT.!

http://www.imeem.com/babygangster/playlist/c8GVVD2S/big_bang_vol2_remember_full_music_playlist/
Seriously, this album is sooo gooooood! LISTEN.

It's break! And who hasn't started her comman app supplements? Ohyeathatsme. kreppers. But I'm not worried!

Anyways, this weekend was retreat, and I got to see snow! (pics coming (: ) Winter Retreat was a surprise, a blessing, a different kind of experience. (: I think the most important thing God reminded me of was how much he loves me and wants me to succeed, that with God there are no expectations. I always tried to justify my desires to go to a prestigious university with the idea that I was given so much and opportunity was given to me by God. And this is all true, but I think I was making up excuses, compromising with God's commands. The world is full of so much darkness, and it's easy to say, oh this is okay, it's not a big deal. I need to decide, to take action, becuase otherwise, Satan messes with my mind and makes me compromise with logic and wordly definitions of success and happiness. College decisions seem so close, and I was so worried about doing what God wanted, thinking about it too much, that Satan took my worries and made it into stress and dryness. I was so tired. Tired of my family, tired of always fighting, tired of watching things fall apart, tired of having to make decisions, tired of arguing about my future with my parents God myself, tired of caring so much about God's will in my life. But this weekend, God was like, Stacy--stop. He reminded me that he wants me to succeed, that he wants me to enjoy the good things He's made in this world. He wants me to be happy. He wants to break me and make me stronger. No matter what I choose, God will bless me. I was so caught up in trying to do what I thought would please God best that it became burdensome and stressful. I was so angry about my family, so angry about the timing of it all. But God is the center, and God is compassionate and faithful and loving. I was too concentrated on the law, and forgot the love.

That's why I'm not worried about my procrastination. I am going to work hard and finish my apps, but I think God wants me to go to Biola. (summers in maneadero hahahahaha). I am not going to make a grand plan to read the Bible and pray, I'm going to take it day by day. Today I will read and pray, and tomorrow will be tomorrow. I'm so thankful for being saved, for being able to experience Goodness in a dark world. I don't need the emotional experience to feel God's presence. He is my refuge and my portion and my joy. And I think Biola's focus on the bible is something God really really wants for me. I've learned that whatever God wants will happen, no matter what. If he wants me to be a doctor like my appa does, then it will happen. If he wants me to go to Harvard, it will happen. If he wants me to serve in Mexico, it will happen. He'll give me what I need. It doesn't matter what I do, as long as I'm open to what God wants. If he calls, I'll follow. It's so hard to mean that, isn't it? Like when you say, "I will follow you!" do you mean it? What if God tells you to not go to college, not to become a brain surgeon, but to go in his name becuase, as mistamejico put it, "he doesn't want a dentist, he want's a servant." I would always say, I'm so confused, I don't know what God wants. I don't think thats true. From now on, it's gonna be JUST DO IT. Just do it, and trust that He'll take care of me, becuase I know He wants me to enjoy and be blessed.